“The Jim Comey story, the Comey story was everywhere. Obstruction of justice, Jim Comey, Jim Comey’s — Democrats on any given day, you never know how they feel about Comey. One day he’s Lucifer. The next day, he’s Michael the Archangel. It depends on what day it is for liberals on how they feel on Jim Comey.
“There was a study done about a month ago when this thing was hot with obstruction of justice, all the fairytales the liberals have been making up about the Trump administration. I saw a poll, which was fascinating, and forgive me for not quoting the exact numbers, but I promise you I’m not far off. It was like 30 percent of the people believed Comey, and like,Trump was satan. I’m exaggerating a bit, of course. You know, whatever, 10 percent of people didn’t believe Comey, and Trump was right. And 60 percent of the people said ‘I really could give zero mmm about this whole story.’ They had no idea what the story was even about.
“But again, your congressman, Joey Bag-of-Doughnuts, in the Subway grabbing your double chicken sub, and a couple of liberal guys and women come in in D.C., and they’re like, ‘Oh, my gosh, Comey. He said that Trump one time stuck a q-tip in his ear, and I told him not to put it in the ear canal. You can damage the eardrum. You only have to go around the outer edge to get the wax off. What? He put a q-tip in his ear, Trump? Oh my, we need a special counsel.’
“Congressman bag-of-doughnuts is like going back to his office, ‘Fellas, I need a staff meeting. Did you guys hear about this q-tip incident with Trump? Trump puts q-tips in the ear canal, and it says on the box not to. People are talking about this! People are talking!’
“Then another dude comes in, and he’s like, ‘Guys, Mr. Congressman Bag-of-Doughnuts, can I get in front of you on the line? Okay, hold on. I need to have this conversation with my friend. I heard, as a matter of fact, I have a witness to this, that seven years ago Donald Trump ripped a mattress tag off. What? A mattress tag? That’s a federal violation, you know.’
“What is Bag-of-Doughnuts doing? Back to the office. He’s not in Tennessee. He’s in D.C. Congressman Bag-of-Doughnuts and his bag-of-doughnuts staff, ‘We got a problem. Trump ripped a mattress tag off seven years ago.’
“Meanwhile, some of the staffers, by the way, some of them were probably new, were looking like, ‘Dude, are you for real? Is this a joke? By Felicia, like, I got to go find a different office to work in.’ But some of them who have been in the Swamp, the D.C. swamp, who’ve been on that same subway line hearing about men in the women’s room and nobody should have guns, they think it’s legit, ‘Congressman, you’re absolutely right. Even though we’re in an R+76 district, where there’s two Democrats for every 700,000 Republicans, you’re right. We need to look at this.’
“How else do you explain the RINO class spending 99 percent of their energy going after Trump on the Trump-Russia fairytale, the Teddy Ruxpin story, this nonsense conspiracy theory, this evidence-free tale, and not spending any time actually going after the Democrats where there are legions of actual evidence that they did something wrong?”