Doc Love: The Eternal Friend-Zone Problem
This week, Doc Love, author of “The System,“ advises another reader who has made himself way too available to his crush.
I’m new to “The System,” but I can already tell that it will help me immensely in terms of keeping a woman. I was recently dumped by a woman I had very strong feelings for, which prompted me to do some soul searching and find the root cause of her plummeting Interest Level. That’s when I found your book. It’s helping me address some of the mistakes I made in my past relationships and improve the likelihood of keeping Ms. Right in the future. I appreciate your insight because even though I was hurt by my recent ex, she was a flaky woman and she was never right for me to begin with.
Before we get into my question, here’s a little bit about me. I hope I don’t come across as pompous, but I think I fall into the 10% of men who are just naturally charming. I have been my whole life, ever since I was a kid. I am in sales and I have a very good sense of humor (I was class clown in high school), so I have no problem talking to women and can instantly make them laugh. I am always the life of the party and the first one to start dancing at a wedding. As a result, I develop chemistry with almost every woman I talk to.
Here’s my question: Since I am very playful and have a good sense of humor, over the years I have developed a lot of friendships with women. Now that I’m back on the market, one of these friends, Lara, has shown a lot of interest in me. She always showed interest before, but now that I am available, she is showing very high interest and I want to date her. I have never been interested in dating any of my other female friends except for her. There is just something about her that I find intoxicating. The crux of my question lies in whether or not you feel a sustainable romantic relationship can be forged out of a friendship. I value her as a friend, and we will be forced to see each other if we ended up breaking up because we’re in the same circle of friends, so I am unsure of the next steps to take with her.
What are your thoughts on this situation? Can a long-term romantic relationship develop out of a friendship, or am I wasting time and risking alienating a friend?
Zen — who’s unsure how to handle her
Doc Love’s Response
It’s great that you got a hold of my book when your romance met with a bad end. In other words, you did what most guys don’t do. By doing your soul-searching, you tried to figure out why your girl liked you in the beginning but ended up dumping you. So, my friend, you took your first step toward awareness. And let me add this: In the future, after memorizing my materials, when you run into a flaky woman, you’re not going to fall in love with her. And not falling for a flaky woman is going to save you an inestimable amount of time and money, not to mention your sanity and quality of life.