How To Make Her Orgasm

How To Make Her Orgasm


 Vary what you watch, take some time away from porn and be mindful if you’re using it to expand your arousal or narrow it..
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Porn’s Impact On Sexual Health

Hi Doc,

How much does watching porn when jacking off affect my erection when hooking up, because I read that it does? Should I stop watching to make my erection better with girls? 

While I’m a huge fan of porn and can think of 100 upsides to having pornography in our lives, there can be a few downsides for some people. We typically think of erections as strong, firm and rock solid. I find that erections for many men can fluctuate depending on social, psychological and biological factors. Porn use can have an effect on our psyche, and it’s up to each person to incorporate porn into their lives in a realistic and supportive manner.

A lot of men, especially the younger generations, have grown up on unlimited access to porn via the internet. What does all of that porn do to our sexual arousal and brains? We can’t say for sure, but some research claims our brains can rewire to narrow our arousal, thus limiting what turns us on. I find that too many men are narrowing their arousal templates and limiting what turns them on. Some research shows they get used to high levels of dopamine through porn and may have difficulty reaching those high levels with a partner. 

In addition, watching porn is often an isolating behavior. Aside from the few college frats that have a group porn viewing or couples who watch together, the majority of people view porn in private. What does that do to our sexual anxiety when we train ourselves to experience sexual arousal without partners present? For many people, adding a partner raises their anxiety, which further affects our minds and arousal. Also, there are distinct differences between having real sex vs. porn sex. Guys often believe real sex is supposed to look like the pornos they’ve been watching and that can create pressure and performance anxiety. The truth is, these are professional actors engaging in fantasy production for your entertainment. You would be doing yourself a disservice to compare yourself to porn actors or compare your partners to porn actresses. 

There are other factors that need to be addressed that affect erection such as masturbation style, distracting or negative thoughts, sex esteem, confidence, having goal oriented sexual expectations, as well as any number of life, family, work, and relationship stressors. Sometimes a sex therapist is the way to go when the psychological difficulties are too much to work through on your own. 

My advice: use porn  as it was intended — a great outlet for fantasy and sexual enhancement. Vary what you watch, take some time away from porn and be mindful if you’re using it to expand your arousal or narrow it. If your porn use is rigid, for example, and you only skip to scenes where a woman is in doggy-style position, you might want to consider varying it up. Try watching a full scene, from start to finish, without skipping around. Wouldn’t that be groundbreaking for some men — watching the whole porno?

How To Make Her Orgasm

Hi Doc,

What’s the best way you know how to make a girl orgasm? 

Is buying her a Louis Vutton purse an option? If not, let’s assume you’ve talked to her, asked her about what turns her on and discovered her mental and physical erogenous zones. There are so many ways to answer your question, which means there is no true “best” way, only different ways. Finding a “best” creates a bit of pressure, and we know that pressure is not what we want to create in the bedroom. Also, how about we do more pressure removal work and change it up from having her orgasm to having her experience pleasure? I feel less pressure already. Should I go with an example using penetration? Oral? Massage? Instead, I’m going the motorized route. I love to use sex toys with a partner. Now the world knows. I find that if you can have the pre-party pleasure conversation with a partner and learn about how she enjoys sex toys, good things are probably going to happen.
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