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This week, Doc Love, author of “The System,” tells a reader he needs to take responsibility for lowering his girlfriend’s Interest Level.
I am 30 years old and my ex, Morgan, is 28. After dating for almost three years, we recently split. We had marriage plans and the whole nine yards.
A year into the relationship I found out my mom had terminal cancer and had six months to live. I had to move in with my parents and quit my job to help take care of her. Morgan was supportive but worked long hours and could not always be there. Still, everything had been going great until I took Morgan to my friend’s birthday party and caught her flirting with a guy I didn’t know. I immediately escorted her to the car and told her it was over, but she screamed and begged, and I took her back. Now, I have flirted with countless girls while with Morgan and felt I couldn’t bring the ax down on her and end the relationship over one instance. But I also concluded that if she would do that in front of me, then God knows what she’s been doing behind my back.
Nevertheless, being out of work and dealing with my mom’s illness left me very insecure, and I started yelling at Morgan for looking at other guys and being very jealous in general. Finally, I told her that I needed space and maybe she should see someone else. As soon as I said it, I regretted it. I sent her five emails stating that I made a mistake and was so stressed out over my mom and my unemployment that I pushed her away. She finally responded after two weeks and said we could be awesome friends and that she needed to figure out how to be “her” again and did not want to be pushed toward a reconciliation. I told her I was fine with that decision and did not contact her for three weeks. I finally broke down and called her several times but got no response.
How can I get Morgan back? Do you think she is worth getting back? What would you do in this situation?
Desmond – who is frantic
Let me clear something up for you straight out of the gate. You and Morgan didn’t “split.” She dropped you. Big difference. And let me add that it was great that you sacrificed so much to take care of your terminally ill mother. That is what you’re supposed to do.
The reason that Morgan flirted with a strange guy was because you weren’t paying enough attention to her and weren’t using “The System.” So when you ran into a crisis like the one with your mother and your job, you didn’t have the power of my book behind you. In fact, you had little in the way of resources to help you through such a stressful time. If you’d had my techniques and principles to fall back on, you wouldn’t need to write to me.
Instead you flipped and decided to dump Morgan, and she screamed and yelled. The reason a woman yells and begs is not because the relationship is over; it’s because you’re the one dropping her. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “Women are supposed to dump you and not the other way around.” So that’s why she was making a scene. But it doesn’t matter because you’re still out. Next Page
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