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It’s Friday night, and you’ve been invited to dinner with your girlfriend’s besties (yup, women actually say “besties”) for a night that has been promised to be chaotic, mental and wild. There’s one other couple in the group, but they leave as soon as post-dinner drinks are mentioned.
But you’re not like them, are you? It’s payday and you’re looking to get messy, so you get a round of shots for the group. Even though they seem to appreciate the move, not one person has left their seat all night, as the crammed dance floor heaves with excitement. At 12:30 a.m., your girlfriend asks you to leave with her, a request that is paired with a hint of a sexual favor. You leave, get a kebab and before you can even say the words “broken promises,” she’s asleep and you’re not.
You’re Not Single Anymore
Just three months ago, you were stumbling home at 5:00 a.m. through the town center, feeling half-human, freezing your balls off with two friends who were teasing you about your lack of sexual success that night. What would that person say if he knew that, just a couple of months from now, he would be saying goodbye to post-2:00 a.m. life? That’s right, he’d kill himself.
But can you live both lives without compensating? Is it possible to sniff cocaine off a stripper’s nipple and then have a quiz night with red wine just 24 hours later? Absolutely not. But it’s quite easy to enjoy a loving relationship that doesn’t have a curfew.
How To Balance Partying And Girlfriends
The first step is realizing that the reason this hasn’t happened before is completely your fault. In our own minds, we tend to think that we’re at least 16 times cooler than we actually are and 50 times wilder. We think that our nights out on the town replicate what happens when you mix The Hangover, any of Jay-Z’s videos and Charlie Sheen. In fact, what we actually do is drink rubbish lager, perv over the bar staff, dry hump a random girl and masturbate at home furiously with one hand while struggling to hold together the chicken burger we bought with the other. The “night out” is already implanted in our minds as an environment unsafe for a girlfriend, so that needs to stop.
Another thing that needs to be controlled is being sneaky. Being sneaky is never fun, always ends in a fight and puts you at constant unease. It’s important that, from day one, you set a precedent for the rest of your relationship. Meaning, don’t be a dick and ensure that, in terms of your sex life, you lock that away firmly in your girlfriend’s closet and leave it there. Don’t text other girls you’ve been with, don’t tempt yourself into a Facebook message exchange with someone you would happily do the no-pants dance with and leave the sex chat at home.
This may seem irrelevant and a bit extreme, but what you don’t realize is that when you’re out with your friends, you’re in your comfort zone — a place where nothing bothers you, and all that is on your mind is fun. The last thing you want in these situations is the addition of an ingredient that could tense you up and cut the night short. If you open up your life to someone intimately (stay with me, fellas), then you should be happy to open the social doors of your life, too. Next Page