Masturbation: Ask Dr. Chaves

too much masturbation?

Hi Dr. Chaves,

I’m 20 years old, and I masturbate regularly. I have been doing this for the past five to six years. Will I be affected in any manner? Please help me.

R.L., DE

Depending on what you mean by masturbating “regularly,” I can’t think of a more healthy and fun way to keep your mind and body in great shape. Some people feel guilty or ashamed about a behavior that is natural, normative and quite harmless. Others masturbate so often it impacts their functioning and lives in negative ways (compulsive masturbation). For most, touching yourself can be helpful to your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual self. Feeling a little anxious? Go touch yourself. Insomnia kicks in and you can’t sleep? Rub one out. Feeling so horny you’re about to hump a park bench? Calm your libido with a nice ejaculation.

In addition, masturbation helps increase our immune functioning, relieves tension and stress, has been associated with improved prostate health and lowered blood pressure, increases muscle tone in the genitals (and in one arm), and helps alleviate menstrual-related symptoms in women. As for your sperm, your testicles work hard to create trillions of new mature sperm in a lifetime. Letting out a few billion here and there is perfectly fine. You don’t need help; you just need a quiet, private place and some lube.

short and sweet

Hey Dr. Chaves,

I can only last around five minutes during sex — and it’s embarrassing. I’m four and a half inches erect and I need help. Any tips?

L.C., OK

You’re not alone with feeling embarrassed about penis size and length of time in the sack. If women only knew how concerned guys are with topics like this, we’d all have more empathy for each other. Maybe we’d be more honest in the bedroom, and that would lead to better sex. For great tips on lasting longer and overcoming rapid ejaculation, check out this AskMen article on premature ejaculation.

Your penis size doesn’t have to be an obstacle if you learn to supplement it with other areas of lovemaking. Learn to be a sexpert at performing things like massages, manual and oral sex, and foreplay. Learn the positions and angles of penetrations that accentuate G-spot stimulation and learn to use sex toys with your partner.

Most importantly, learn how to be a great boyfriend and make her feel sexy, supported and loved. I’d suggest reading as many books as you can on relationships, sex and communication, and that you watch sex education videos like those of Sinclair, Nina Hartley, Tristan Taormino, or Vivid for improving technique. Most women would trade an inch or two for all those things I described.

Find out what to do when your partner can’t orgasm…

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One Comment

  1. Nice post. I’ve had a premature ejaculation problem once and I was really embarrassed to tell anyone about it but then I realized it wasn’t that uncommon and that I wasn’t a freak… I read at this website about how to stop premature ejaculation that it’s about 30% to 40% males that get affected and that every man at least once in his life time will have an incident.

    Then I just waited and the problem eventually wore off without me doing anything about it really. I just started by distracting myself while having sex for a couple of times and that was about it.

    Thanks again for a great post.

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