Yes, it’s that time once again: The day we feature your dating and relationship questions. Although we would like to answer each one personally and with as much detail as possible, the overwhelming amount of inquiries forces us to highlight those that are most interesting to AskMen readers.
This week’s QA considers three tips to successfully approach women (are you applying them?). David DeAngelo, author of Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women, has your answers.
Hi Dave,Most, if not all, of the questions and answers I read here seem to refer to “perfect 10s,” who are used to men falling all over them. Would any of the advice be different for regular girls who are not 10s, are not super confident (just nice), good to be around, and probably a bit insecure? In other words, would all the Cocky Funny stuff freak them out, or make them too intimidated to pursue any attraction built up?
Thanks – FD
david d. responds
FD, it sounds to me like you need to stay after class.If you’re reading my columns as often as you say, there’s obviously something you’re not getting. The fact is, all of the questions and answers around here are all about doing the one and only thing that matters to get any woman (whether she’s “hot” or not) — and that is knowing how to create attraction.
Once you can do that, you can get absolutely any woman you want, no matter how “regular” she is or how “unattainable” she may seem. Period. By the way, if you’re approaching a particular women in the first place, she must be attractive to you, right? If not, why are you bothering?
With that in mind, here are my three tips to approach women, things that I recommend you do immediately upon seeing her:
1- Tease her
When you first meet a woman, tease her about something. Anything. It doesn’t matter what it is, just as long as you do it early on to get her attention.For instance, you might say: “So what’s with the big purse? Are you carrying a gun in there?” Or maybe, “Those are some pretty tall shoes, what are you, like, 4′ tall without them?” Whatever. The fact is, if you tease a woman right off the bat, it immediately shows that you’re not a Wuss, and that you like to have fun. This is huge.
But whatever you do, make sure that what you say is actually funny, or you’ll come off looking like a bigger dork than you would have otherwise.
2- Be “cool”
After you start talking to her, look around at other things; try to seem kind of preoccupied. In other words, be cool, loose and relaxed, always making your funny remarks with a totally carefree, detached tone. Basically, you want to sound as comfortable as when you’re talking to your best friend. This confident, in-control attitude is very attractive to all women — especially when it’s perfectly combined with humor.
3- Take control
The fastest way to do this is by never asking (or answering) any direct questions. To keep the suspense and intrigue building, let her do all the asking — and be prepared with answers.Odds are she’ll hit you with something like: “What do you do?” or, “Where do you live?” or even, “Tell me about your family,” so have funny answers in your back pocket — answers that never give her exactly the information she wants.
Most guys say, “Oh, I’m an engineer,” or “I’m a stock broker.” Boring. This is a total conversation (and attraction) killer.
If she asks what you do, say something like, “Oh, funny you should ask. I’m a Calvin Klein underwear model.”
Bottom line: Keep up the mystery, stay confident and, above all, keep her laughing.
David DeAngelo answers another question next… Next Page