Despite having a few invites, Ben and I did not attend any Halloween festivities. We didn’t do much of anything this weekend, in fact. Ben spent most of Saturday nursing an epic Poker Night-induced hangover (on the bright side, he won $420), and on Sunday, we handed out candy to trick-or-treaters. Well, I use the term “we” loosely: Ben and I handed out candy together until the third kid asked him why he was in a wheelchair, and then I handed out candy alone.
Ben’s going to attempt to go into the office one or two days this week (the second trip depends on the success of the first). I’m a little worried about it, especially since he won’t let me help him. He’s still in the chair, but Emilio, his physical therapist, thinks he’ll probably be able to graduate to crutches part-time later this month. When that happens, Ben will go back to the office full-time.
As it turns out, Ben’s recovery isn’t the only thing Emilio has opinions about.
“So I was talking to Emilio about running into Rob at the farmer’s market,” he announced over dinner.
“Really?” I asked. “You guys talk about stuff like that?”
“Oh yeah, we talk about everything. Anyway, I mentioned that it’s been on my mind?”
“Well, yeah. I hate being the guy that’s holding a grudge. It’s been a long time. Emilio thinks it might be time to bury the hatchet, so to speak, and I’m inclined to agree with him.”
“What does burying the hatchet entail?”
“I don’t know, exactly. I thought maybe I’d start with an email to Rob. I wanted to make sure that it wasn’t going to bother you first, if I end up talking to Amelia at some point.”
I thought about it.
“Yes, on some level, it’s going to bother me,” I said, trying out the honest approach. “But if you keep being this open with me about it, I’ll deal, because it sounds like this is important to you and I don’t want to stand in the way of that. But for the record, I don’t think either of them deserves to have you in their life after the way they treated you.”
“This isn’t for them,” he said. “It’s for me.”
After dinner, Ben jumped online to do some work and I sat in front of the TV, not really watching it. Instead, I thought about how it hadn’t even occurred to me to consult Ben before I’d reached out to Brandon, and that maybe it should have. I realized that I don’t have much experience letting a boyfriend into all aspects of my life. I tend to compartmentalize my life: I have a list of people and experiences that I deem okay to share, and a separate list that I choose to keep to myself. Ben doesn’t operate like that ? he wants to share everything with me.
Well, after he shares it with his physical therapist, anyway 😉 So this is what a healthy, adult relationship is like. Huh.
Posted at 9:02 AM